This week, Sreepriya Menon explores the link between technology and mental health and focuses on the gadgets we love so much and the relationships we cultivate and rely on. Read on for more on this fascinating topic.
#TheDiaryOfASocialWorker – 9
Before I invite you to read this piece, let me admit, I am very bad with technology and gadgets. That being said, I know enough to get by – despite being technologically challenged.
One of my friends recently told me that “Technology is a great equaliser!” I do agree with him, at least partially. It gave me access to things that I never thought I could learn on my own. However, it is also a great divider because the knowledge required to manipulate this resource is not available equally. From sex education to career guidance, from pornography to art films, from social media to coding, the options are numerous and the needs are innumerable.
So I’ll tell you a story instead:
Amrita is a busy and bright twenty-year-old woman I have been working with this month. She came to meet me, by choice, to get help for an addiction she had developed to pornography. She had also invested deeply into several unstable and emotionally intense relationships with men who were her age and older. She could not find meaning in friendships. She also had a tendency to expect that all her needs would be fulfilled by her partners, leading her to make impulsive decisions. When her parents found out they hit her, scolded her, and took away her phone. She carried a lot of guilt.
If you ask a fifteen-year-old urban middle-class girl what she wants in life right now, she will tell you a hundred different things. This inspires both hope and frustration because we are telling our children to reach for the stars, and yet, we teach them restrictions based on caste, class, gender and power dynamics.
The increasing access to technology has resulted in parents finding it more of a challenge to capture and retain the attention of their children. Parents often get frustrated and become hurtful as they approach this communication problem.
Living In A Virtual Reality
Screens are here, and they’re here to stay. Something that people from older generations, who experienced life before computers came into the picture, do not understand is that technology has modified the fabric of reality for the next generation. They are used to the idea of virtual communication, of wish-fulfilling clicks, story-telling machines, and stimulating pleasant situations by remote.
The concept of time itself has changed. “Being late” and “convenience” are not necessarily negative terms now, unrelated to moral interpretations of their character. Judging a person’s calibre has become completely appearance based. Any talent, skill or ability, unless packaged beautifully, is not worth anything.
Self-Development In The Digital Age
How is all this related to mental health? It is, at the core, a question of how we relate to each other today, across generations and within them too. The influence of media and technology creates another dimension or reality where we form ideas about the world, about ourselves, and concepts in general that are called ‘schemas’. These are mental maps of words and meanings.
This begins quite early in life, and are related to experiential and emotional events that occurred during childhood. If we understand the concept that if something is not beautiful, it is not worth our time, then it may extend to an idea about ourselves, about the world and so on.
Navigating Relationships With Technology
Similarly, the process of investing in relationships has been modified by technology. People may find interaction boring, but they are fascinated by novel ways of doing things through technology. Your family members or friends have problems, difficulties, fears, wishes, desires, plans and dreams. Investing in another person takes time and doesn’t always work out, but technology gives you instant release from boredom and an escape from reality. This actual reward mechanism in the brain is similar to what is achieved by smoking!
However, technology starts taking a toll on you. You become more irritable, impatient and intolerant even when small things do not go your way. Problems with persons of authority or in communicating your viewpoint without hurting someone arise because you are used to getting your way. In short, your user interface has collapsed!
Jokes apart, today we talk tech, we walk tech, but we forget that we are not in fact machines, we have emotional needs. Relationships are crucial while growing up. Hence if all family members, irrespective of the generation gap, can listen to each other better, it is possible for younger family members to express themselves without feeling threatened.
Additionally, if you take the time to express your own emotions and thoughts to your family, technology would be an aid rather than a barrier between you and your loved ones.
There also needs to be an understanding that growing up is in today’s world is a much more chaotic and tense process than before, just because there are so many opportunities for people to explore and learn from. Not everything is learnt the same way, trial and error are an important part of the process. Therefore, the best bet for families is to keep their homes open to a healthy discussion, after all growing up requires both negotiation and understanding. It does not have to be a war.
“Use It, Don’t Abuse It”
This is the tagline that almost all parents scream at their kids, however, the message content is often overshadowed by how it is packaged. It leads to fights breaking out and the lack of successful solutions to problems. Resolution of issues such as the formation of identity, learning to fail and grow after rejection, learning to make the most of your resources, making the right decisions, and solving problems in the real life are viable only with the support of family and friends.
These things are important to us, as human beings, and though technology aspires to mimic our patterns, it cannot imitate these factors that are so important and shape our lives.
Paying more attention to these factors will help us listen to each other better and will improve our lives – after all, isn’t that the intention behind technology in the first place?